Trail Post - A Portland Trail Blazers Blog

Greg Oden, after his last injury, has been called by many (pretty much all of whom are clueless) a bust. It’s easy to understand their logic, with all of his missed games due to freak injuries. This has to weigh on the psyche of someone such as Greg. Every time his name comes up he’s a punchline, every time, his name synonymous with knees exploding and just general unwellness. There’s Bill Simmons throwing out these petty observations that he “walks old.” That has to get (pardon the choice of words) old.

Now, here comes the question: how does a player, basically known only for terrible injuries and an easygoing attitude change the public perception of himself around? He could stay on the floor for an entire season, blocking shots and scaring the living hell out of opposing teams. That’s definitely option A, and something Oden made a valiant stab at this season. He was among the most dominant centers in the NBA. What more can you ask for? But, until this morning, when I looked back on this season, it wasn’t his rebounding rate that stood out. No, it was his knee.

Now another body part is standing out. Over the course of these last 24 hours, the perception of Oden has changed. Instead of pot shots about his knee left and right, it’s just jokes such as “So that’s Great Oden’s Raven” or “The pic should really be clearer, what with his use of the tripod.” (Thanks, Deadspin!) Out of any joke about a man, the joke about how ridiculously large his genitalia is has to be the least spiteful and cutting one there is. You can’t imagine Greg Oden up in arms right now, complaining that now everyone makes fun of his downstairs. They were already making fun of him, except now every joke is inflating his persona.

When scandals like this have come out about public figures, they tend to come out on top of it. It put Paris Hilton on the map, no matter what you think of her. Or how about Vanessa Hudgens? Or Rihanna? Or fellow athletes like Santonio Holmes? The naked online picture scandal has never derailed a career, and has never become more than a hilarious footnote.

Which leads to the thought: was it intentional? Oden’s in the news again, his knees are no longer the big story about him, and the main story about him is, basically, positive. That just seems a little too perfect, right? He’s even the victim of some terrible crime. There’s something more to this story - this “leak” could have been the work of Oden himself. Maybe there was a moment Oden had getting out of the shower during his rehabilitation, just in an existential funk, wondering aloud, “How can I find something that will overshadow my knee?” Maybe then, Oden looked down, and saw his answer, clear as day: his johnson, literally overshadowing his knee.

Well done, Mr. Oden. Well done.

Post-script: This is very much a joke. There is no way Greg would ever go out of his way to make this happen.

If you read Basketbawful, or regularly cruise ESPN.com for AP wire pics from the game, you may have been surprised by the first photo from the game. Rather than tell, let’s just show:

PORTLAND, OR - JANUARY 13: Cameron Browne #00 of the Portland Trail Blazers sits down to eat Salsa Verde #96 of the Milwaukee Bucks during a game on January 13, 2010 at the Rose Garden Arena in Portland, Oregon. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2010 NBAE (Photo by Sam Forencich/NBAE via Getty Images)

Yes, that’s the actual caption that followed it. Anyway, Trail Post caught up with Cameron Browne for his version of the story.

I do owe an explanation. It was a stormy Wednesday afternoon, I had just finished writing my game day photo caption templates and glanced though my personal collection of portraits. I settled on a tame, though facially wild self portrait with chile quiles w/salsa verde. Before each NBA Portland Trail Blazer game I send off a test photo to Getty Images to confirm that they received it and the captioning is correct. I usually send a caption with both the HOME team and the AWAY team mentioned. The Salsa Verde became the AWAY team player. This of course was some salsa verde from San Cristobol de Las Casas. I was catching up with my partner in Mexico. We were sitting down for lunch off the main drag. I had grown out my beard in a misguided plan to blend in in Mexico. There were very few red bearded gringos through my travels. I did find mummies in a tunnel town that resembled Mediterranean Europe, agave fields for tequila, Aztec pyramids, margaritas, pools, dance clubs, power boats, federales, and of course the Lancondon people of Chiapas. Nothing like seeing all those things and then letting all your film be x-rayed on the way back to the US. Whoops.

I do have to give credit where credit is due, the photo was not taken by Sam Forencich or Cameron Browne, but by Michelia Kramer. She is not very pleased by the lack of acknowledgment she has received. I guess I can feel lucky that they chose this photo to post and not a more scandalous/risque as I usually do. Getty has been (until now) rather good at recognizing that the test photo has nothing to do with basketball as the caption would have one believe. As far as I am concerned, this was not a dare, but a way to view portraits of myself on the world wide web on ESPN. Maybe I should send photos I have taken, as that would have the highest chances for getting my work seen.

I hoped this changed your perspective on professional photojournalism permanently.

You know who had to feel like crap last night? Steve Blake.

Here he is, coming back after a week having fluid filling up his lungs and losing eight pounds to perform in a professional basketball game, and not only playing, but excelling, nailing shot after shot and creating a massive lead. Of course, the guy who gets the standing ovation was Rudy Fernandez. Poor Steve.

Anyway, last night’s game was a classic “oh yeah, OH NO!” game in the vein of the one against the Pistons at home a couple of months ago. We built up our largest lead of the season (or second largest), and pulled all the starters, and then the Bucks started trapping and hitting what seemed like every three pointer they took. Soon enough, they erased twenty points off the deficit to begin the fourth quarter. Still, the thing with thirty point comebacks over the course of a quarter and a half is that literally everything has to go right. The aforementioned Blake hit a couple of threes, Aldridge made a few turnarounds and that was that. Thanks for playing, Bucks. Jennings, your hair is awesome, Bogut, the neck beard is a look that has never been cool. It doesn’t say how strong and virile you are; it says that you don’t have time to shave because World of Warcraft is too distracting.

The best news from Rudy coming back: Brandon gets to rest. He only played 27 minutes last night, a far cry from the usual 42. Could that have been due to the massive lead? Probably. But still, he would have had to be in before. Beyond Roy, there was ample support from LaMarcus, who got yet another 20 point game, Martell, who makes wins easy whenever he makes shots, and Andre Miller. It’s amazing how fast expletive-filled disputes disappear after a few good games.

That was amazing and awful, in the way seeing Jesus Christ, Mahatma Gandhi, or Neil Patrick Harris would be. LeBron is that rare person where you read tens of thousands of words about the guy, have expectations loaded up beyond any possible reasonable level, and then just watch them get shattered lay-up after lay-up. It wasn’t just that he destroyed the Blazers, it was his attitude while doing it. When Kobe takes over a game, he’s always talking and posturing, compensating for the fact he’ll never be Michael Jordan. When Brandon takes over, he squawks and hits the deck, drawing attention for the and-one call he’ll never get, along with setting up kick-out. LeBron is simply detached. He’s a horse and the Blazers were flies. When you see LeBron barreling down at you, it’s not the size that stands out; it’s how methodical he is. He walks between players and wastes no motion as he moves the ball out of arms reach of each of them, just dropping the ball off in the hoop as if he’s Pauly D completing the last step of his GTL. He’s unreal. The best athlete in the league also is the most economic player in the league.

So, there was a game last night, too. It was pretty depressing being in the crowd for most of it, especially with the bandwagon fan in the white dress shirt and the crisp new old school Cavs jersey popping it out to no one in particular whenever Shaq bowled over Juwan Howard. Anyway, we tried to play the Cavs style of basketball in the first half, and managed to dig ourselves a 17-point deficit. It’s easy to understand. We play a slow style against them, they will keep their players at home after the shot goes up, meaning annoying rebounders like Varejao or Ilgauskas will eat us alive. That’s what they did, outrebounding us by ten in the game.

In the third we made our run because we switched our strategy up, taking off every time the Cavs lost possession of the ball, whether it was a made shot or a miss. That’s what patched up the deficit. In running, it forced the Cavs not to commit extra guys for the rebound, and led to us actually pulling some down. It was the first time the crowd woke up all game, too. Then, Nate decided to switch back to the offense that dug us the 17 point deficit to begin with once we tied it, and the Cavaliers predictably destroyed us yet again. Okay, that’s not fair, we kept up with them for like three possessions, then they destroyed us once Mike Brown realized what happened.

Martell Webster was the gnat that got tasked with defending LeBron for the game, and he did a serviceable job for the second through fourth quarter, holding Bron to a human-like 5-11 shooting. Unfortunately, that first quarter 8-8 kind of made that moot (although, we can’t blame Marty for the fast-break lay-ups). He also was the only Blazer with a positive +/-, so bully for that. As a side note, I’ve never seen a player miss as many shots as Marty did tonight during the half time shootaround. Save that big run, he didn’t quite have it last night.

Brandon Roy did his “I’m an all-star and maybe the best shooting guard on the planet” thing again, putting up 34 points on only 23 shots. Still, the number that stands out for him is 5 missed free throws. The team’s missed free throws ended up being the killer toward the end. Well, that and terribly stagnant offense. It would be dumb to blame Brandon for the loss though.

LaMarcus had one of the softest beast-out games I’ve ever seen. You look at the stat line and see 18 and 13 on 8-11 shooting, and assume he’s just tearing people apart out there. Instead, it’s just a lot of right place right time situations. Yeah, he got the rebounds, but he missed out on another four due to lack of effort. He took 11 shots, but at the end of the game, he passed up an open shot on the base line in possession that ended up in a turnover. He was playing well enough to take over the game. He simply didn’t do it.

The rest was a hodgepodge. Steve Blake heroically came back after a week out with pneumonia, then tallied a team-worse -13 in a mere seven minutes, as he almost put up the near-impossible 7 trillion, rescued only by a missed three-pointer. I respect you for your heart Steve, but you need to tell Nate you’re not ready if you’re not ready. Or the training staff needs to tell him. Someone dropped the ball in wanting to bring Blake back this early. Juwan Howard’s biggest highlight was Daniel Baldwin wearing his jersey. Just as Howard’s prime was 1994-96, Baldwin’s was his stint on Homicide: Life on the Street, during that same stretch. Other Howard highlight: my girlfriend asking why NBA players wear such baggy shorts and my matter-of-fact explaining that it’s actually Howard’s fault. I’ve never been less attractive to her in my life. Miller played well in that way he plays where it doesn’t actually look like he’s playing well. Everyone in my section wanted Bayless in, even if he only went 1-6. Finally, the rookies had some serious issues. Come back Rudy and Nico. Come back.

Sorry for the lack of updates over the winter break, folks. Things have been hectic and well-covered all over the internet. We’re screwed with injuries but keep on winning due to the character and fortitude of our players and the MVP-level performances of Brandon Roy. Yeah, obvious business. The real news was how awesome Avatar was. So, instead of analysis about the season so far, let’s just enjoy a few of our Blazers as avatars, deal?

Greg Oden

Brandon Roy

Jerryd Bayless

Joel Przybilla

This last week has been an absolute whirlwind, to say something that’s horribly cliched. (I can’t find the accent, so imagine a little upward tick above the “e” in that.) This has been a terrifying mix of depression and exhilaration. And by the end of it, we had the best road trip of the season. Even more insane, if not for a let-down in the fourth quarter of the Orlando game, 4-0 was actually in reach. Now, I’m not going to be greedy, because winning 3 out of 4 on the road against winning teams while missing half of your team doesn’t come along very often.

Let’s just get to it: how is this team winning? The easy answer (which usually is the best one): effort. We all watched the early season. The Blazers simply didn’t give a crap. They knew they were the better team against anyone they faced and they knew they were a lock for the playoffs if they coasted. So coast they did. Then, everyone got injured. Maybe it’s a cautionary tale. The basketball gods looking down and letting all of us know that they can’t abide by coasting. (There are some of you who may say, “The Spurs got by all decade by coasting during the regular season.” To that I respond: Gregg Poppovich made a deal with basketball Satan.) No matter what the cause (hint: spiteful supernatural forces), we were, and still are, in an unenviable place.

Still, lowered expectations have their charm, simply in the fact that winning is fun again. Honestly, when was the last time we had fun winning games? I haven’t been this amped up for games during the regular season since the 13-game win streak two years ago. It’s only a three-game win streak we’re on!

Unfortunately, we have well over half the season left, and that thought can get depressing. No person looks at the schedule and thinks we can even pick up half those games with this roster how it is right now. Let’s just hope the Blazers don’t have that mindset. They need to have their picture as small as possible. They cannot look forward to the next month, let alone the next week or even day. That’s what won the games this week, and that’s the only way they’ll continue to tread water until reinforcements arrive.

Luckily, Jerryd is the most focused person in existence. That’s what it comes down to. Jerryd Bayless is the answer for this team at this time. They need guts, focus, and moxie, and that’s what Jerryd specializes in. Roy will be Roy, and LaMarcus will do his thing. We needed a third option. Who knew we’d find it at the end of the bench (aside from Ben)?

Anyway, Merry Christmas, folks.

I missed it.

I had a work event last night, where we do a bar crawl. It had been canceled two times before and this was honestly the last chance for it. Unfortunately, it coincided with last night’s game. What made it even worse, I had tickets. Wednesday night, I put them up for sale, and a friend bought them off me immediately, even giving me a chalupa coupon as a brazen guarantee of the Blazers fortunes (”I’ll have two of them by the end of game,” he said).

Turns out it was probably the best game of the season, and I caught all of ten minutes of it. Terrible. Even worse, I had tickets. It sounds like it was a Had To Be There game. Last year, I was at one of the year’s biggest Had To Be Theres, as Ariza sent Rudy to traction. I was at the Roy 50-point game. I was at the biggest Had To Be There of the Jail Blazers, as Mo Cheeks helped that girl finish the national anthem. Here’s the great part about Had To Be Theres: no one cares where you sat, how close you were to the event; it’s just that you were in the presence of history. In my experience, mentioning that you were only a few rows back only sullies the Had To Be There story, as if you’re trying to insert yourself as more important than the story. You’re not. Had To Be Theres are the most democratic experiences in fandom, as everyone in the arena shares a piece of it equally, even if they’re so high, Bobby Gross’ retired #30 blocks out the top half of the court.

I immediately knew the result after the game, despite not seeing it, as the friend I sold the tickets to sent a text to the effect of “Soooooooooo good,” which I assumed could only be a win. Then Wilson (the Valentine’s Day Cards comaker) sent me “Yeah, you f’ing KNOW IT,” which made my assumption complete. If only I had DVR.

There is a flip side to the Had To Be There coin, at least. It’s the I Can’t Believe I Missed It. When someone brings up a great game, a great moment, if you missed it and by all accounts, you would have seen it if it wasn’t for some sort of pressing matter, say ambulance rides or plumbing issues (Ex. Q: “Did you catch Roy’s shot last year against the Rockets?” A: “No, my wife was giving birth.” Q: “Did you name the kid Roy?”), you may have achieved that level, where if your excuse is good enough, you can usurp the Had To Be There. My excuse? Not good enough to usurp it, but good enough to catch some pity, I hope. The selling the tickets really adds another level.

Going into this road trip, with what has happened over the last two weeks, we all expected things to be rocky and difficult. 0-4 was a realistic worst case scenario. So was 1-3. Still, were we lucky to get just that one win? No. What made the two losses maddening (which is different than “Maddening,” which causes your eyebrows to turn orange and grow to two feet long) is that we had a shot. Yes, we lost the games because of the injuries, but we didn’t lose the games BECAUSE of the injuries, if that makes sense. The injuries affected the losses, but not from the standpoint that we needed this player or this player in to win the game - that’s not true - the injuries affected the losses simply because we are out of horses. It happened in Cleveland and happened again in Milwaukee. We have talent and we can hang with anybody.

Let’s just get to the depressing stuff and get it out of the way quickly. Cleveland was a mess towards the end and a large part of it was an over-reliance on Andre Miller and Steve Blake (theme of the season). Bayless had the best run on the team during the second quarter and he got rewarded by picking splinters out of his ass for the rest of the game. I never thought I’d be a member of the Free Bayless contingent, but what’s going on is simply absurd. We only have 9 players on the team. The only part that’s a little funny about it is the fact that every other position on the team has had, in most cases, multiple players go down, but Steve Blake and Andre Miller are invincible. It’s like they’re skipping through a mine field and every single one they hit is a dud.

I’d write a recap for both of the games but it just boils down to the thesis statement: the team played well enough to win, but it did not have the energy. The good news is we’ll have a break this week, and hopefully the team won’t get down on themselves during the intervening time. Same goes for the fans. I’ve said over and over again that the reason attendance went down during the Jail Blazer era had nothing to do with the quality of character of those guys and everything to do with the quality of the product on the court. It’s easy to say you won’t watch a team when they win less than 30 games in a season and blame it on their character. It’s tough to actually stick it through those 28 win seasons. I want to see these fans back up their talk by supporting the team when its good guys are falling short.

It’s funny how effort translates into wins. On Monday, in New York, we gave effort for about a quarter total and were easily put down. Last night, the Blazers gave effort for what felt like three quarters and were able to beat the Pacers handily while being shorthanded. Funny thing: the completely shorthanded Blazers (the ones minus Oden and Rudy, in addition to everyone else) are now 2-1, and have beaten an above-.500 team.

Anyway, let’s get straight into it. Everyone played like they need to play, and this win’s a decent blueprint for winning with the guys out. First off, LaMarcus has to be Great. He can’t slink around picking his spots. He has to do what he did in the first - dominate his man and make himself known as a threat. Beyond that, Brandon Roy basically needs to put up Brandon Roy Specials (20-5-5) each night. He acquitted himself nicely last night, going beyond the call of duty with a 29-7-5. Guess that’s the Super Awesome Roy Special (SARS).

Joel Przybilla has to do what he did last night. He put up 12 points in the flow of the offense. He’s one of the best pick guys in the NBA, and about 75% of the time, he has the hands to do the roll too. We need those easy buckets from him if we’re going to beat teams. Teams will never defend Joel, no matter how much he scores. Getting 8 points from him in a night will significantly increase our chances of winning.

Lastly, this has been said for the last two years, but we severely need production from our point guards. Andre Miller provided that last night, but it can be either him or Blake. It takes pressure off of Brandon, it takes pressure off of LaMarcus, and it spaces the floor out for the one in four games Martell shows up. Andre Miller, who probably hit two threes in a game for the first time in his career, did that, even if he only got two assists.

So, good win against a terrible team to watch. I was thinking after the game, if I moved to another city, I’d probably watch that city’s basketball team in addition to the Blazers. Then I began thinking of exceptions to that rule. Indiana’s definitely one of those exceptions. Beyond that, I’d go with the Bobcats, the Rockets, the Kings, and the Spurs (I hate their destroy basketball to win strategy). Only five teams out of over 30. It’s a pretty good era to be a basketball fan.

Anyway, we have the Cavaliers tomorrow, and it’s easy to say we don’t have a shot. Well, let me remind you of the transitive property of basketball. On Saturday, we beat Houston shorthanded, then last night, Houston beat LeBron and the Cavaliers after they just lost against Memphis. So, it may be possible. This slump that the Cavs are going through is probably the best time we could have faced them all season. I’ll keep hope alive.

Let’s put this in perspective. Would any of you prefer the bad luck now, or in two years? People who prefer the two years, please sit down. Where’d everyone go?

We’ve been absolutely devastated by every possible injury that can befall an organization. Kevin Pritchard is weirding people out by wearing a horseshoe around his neck. There are the injury to Mills and Pendergraph. Then there’s Batum’s issues. Outlaw’s freak injury. Oden’s knee explosion. Rudy’s nerve problems. That’s nothing to say of Nate’s injury and Paul Allen and Maurice Lucas’ cancer. If the Blazers decided that fate was against them and started packing it in a bit, it would be understandable. It’s tough to lose half your team and be the contender you were expected to be.

Still, they need to press on. They need to not take this as a sign to be down, but as a sign to work even harder. It’s not right and it’s not fair. It’s also sports. Deal with it. Guys get injured, sometimes they’re yours, sometimes they’re on the other team. This relates, as the Houston game was a perfect example of the team getting on it. They were scrapping for every loose ball. With this many guys down, they need to start playing with even more fire to make up for who’s missing. The good part, if you can call it good, is that it’s during a portion of the schedule with a lot of breaks, so, they can at least give it their all and still have a decent rest.

Last night’s game against the Knicks was a terrible scenario, as the team only showed effort and life in the first quarter and the fourth quarter. They could afford to do that when they had an NBA team sitting around. With the MASH corps they’re fielding, they can’t afford to let up for a half, or even a quarter. They have to be there. If they’re not going to do that, they shouldn’t even bother to show up. At least that way someone else won’t get injured.

That’s a sentence I never thought I’d have to write again. Game’s still happening, but what happened to Greg is something no person should go through, especially for someone as kind as he is. I’ve only spoken to him once in my life, and he called me “sir” afterward. To you, Greg: best of luck, sir. Portland is behind you more than you’ll ever know.

I’m going to keep this short and sweet mostly because it’s so late after the game, and we were so disturbingly bad. Basically, that was downright terrible. Every player without the initials “G.O.” or “J.H.” did not show up for the game. Brandon Roy thought he would play hero, and if you like Zach Randolph numbers, he was 25-5-5 on 25 attempts was pretty solid. Martell Webster was bad at 4-14, and it hurts to say that considering the blog’s prior positions on Webster. Rudy was non-existent. Steve Blake didn’t show up until the game was over. Andre Miller is the only person on the team that realizes that Greg Oden’s a good passing center and will hit you if you cut while he has the ball with his back to the basket. I have a feeling that none of the plays between Miller and Oden were drawn up.

Still, what was the most fun element about the game was the atmosphere of Civil War night. It’s an absolutely marvelous way to completely ruin any camaraderie between fans. Nothing like having the crowd boo during an entire halftime to really help the atmosphere and make the home team feel like you’re on their side. Sure we’re all Beaver and Duck fans, just like some of us are dumb, and some of us are amazing and attractive (Duck fans are the attractive ones), but at a game, we should all be fans of the same team - the Blazers. It’s fun to show one guy on screen with a OSU jersey once a game during a timeout, and have everyone boo. It’s funny. Doing it thirty times over the course of the game is overkill.

The other thing, Blaze really is not a good mascot. Having the Duck out there with Blaze and Benny the Beaver is like making a movie with Matt Damon, Zac Efron, and Ashton Kutcher. Just ridiculously outclassing everyone around him without even trying. While Blaze is just so generic and Benny is catatonic, the Duck is out there on the floor during every time-out trying to hog the spotlight, doing the C-walk while the dancers are on the floor. There’s something just slightly more amusing about an overaggressive Duck. Making Benny look mean just completely ruined him. That’s it for the mascot rant.

Anyway, we have to wait until Saturday to see the team again. Luckily, there’s a football game to tide us over. Go Ducks.

You know, this April, we’re going to look back on this run and laugh. We’ll be eating some delicious wings, put some bleu cheese dressing on ‘em, and reminisce over that weekend where the Blazers let two teams shoot over 60%. You see, 60% is that magic mark when you’re more than just bad; it’s where the other team is simply good. It goes without saying that a team makes all their easy looks when they’re hitting 60%, but that’s still, quite a reach, say, when they shoot 90% on shots they usually shoot 55% on. Or in the case of Carlos Boozer and Deron Williams, a shot at the top of the key feels like a dunk. It didn’t matter if we got a hand in their face that night, they were going to make it. This is my way of saying there’s absolutely no lesson to be learned defensively here. We weren’t going to give up the lowest field goal percentage in the NBA for the season. No one thought that. This weekend was us regressing back to the average. Hard.

Our offense, like it has been all season, has been the distressing part of games. Except for the Chicago game and a few other key runs, no one’s playing free and easy out there. It feels like each player is feeling hamstrung by his own expectations and the expectations of his teammates. The fact that Webster, Oden, Rudy are the only ones unafraid to gun is not a good sign. This may be where we feel the absence of Outlaw the most - in his most derided characteristic as a player. Maybe his bad shot selection is still better than running clock for an - ugh - Andre Miller long-distance shot. When Travis misses, at least we knew not to pass to him, which led to some more creative offense later on. Travis was unafraid to lose the game. We need someone to step up and actively take the role as the second man. Right now, Rudy and Martell seem the most likely, but I haven’t seen them taking anyone one-on-one.

In case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t really gone over the Utah game, and that’s intentional. I was chugging E. Coli water during it just so I didn’t have to watch it.

Anyway, this weekend was a hiccup. We could call to Fire Nate and Trade Miller for a lot worse than what happened in Utah and what happened in the Rose Garden against Memphis.

This wasn’t the worst loss of the season. A loss to a fully manned Memphis Grizzlies team is not as bad as losing to the barely-manned Golden State Warriors. Let’s just get that out of the way before we get into that abomination of a game. It seemed like everything was going fine for much of that first quarter, as Martell Webster came to play. He was scoring all over the place, playing energetic defense, just doin…wait, he’s out. Nate McMillan had a patented Nate McMillan Questionable Decision™, something that’s been extremely frequent this year. Martell, for the night, had 24 points on only 14 shots. He’s the only one who seriously came to play. Nate’s logitc: When you can take out your hottest shooter and put in someone who’s ice cold, you gotta do it. Here’s why we lost: Nate upset the juju of the basketball gods. Martell was going to put on a career performance, and Nate didn’t even notice it was happening until it was far too late. By the time Martell came back, the damage was more than done. What made it worse, was that the team held onto the ball and forced jumpers, never passing it to the only guy who had made a shot all night. His next shot was in the last minute of the second quarter. Just terrible.

One of the best parts about watching games at the Rose Garden is the interaction with people around you. Up in the 300 level, you can scream and swear all night. You’ll just get high-fives from the drunk guy with an ill-fitting Drexler jersey. Up front, you can’t say a word. I yell at the refs and cheer, and this woman in front of me just kept giving me the stinkface, even turning around asking me to quiet down. The jaded old dudes sitting next to me loved it and made fun of her afterward. Nice. Such and underrated part of being there: talking to guys who’ve been following the NBA longer than you’ve been alive.

Midway through the second quarter we realized, we hadn’t scored in about ten minutes, and thoughts of asking for a refund danced through our heads. It was disgusting. Let’s not acknowledge this ever again.

Then, the rest of the game was a serious uphill climb that the Blazers made much more difficult for themselves by simply shooting terribly. They missed six free throws. They only shot 40% for the game and a little better for the second half. Every run we had was stifled by a missed three or a dumb turnover. The Grizz didn’t help either by making about ten very tough shots with hands in their faces. Don’t pin this loss only on the Blazers. The Grizz were hitting. Sure they feasted on layups, but everything else went in too. If the Grizz miss three of those circus shots they were taking, we hit three more free throws, and decided to pass to Webster in the first half, we probably come out with a different outcome tonight, and are joking with each other about how we almost lost to the Grizzlies. That’s the fun of basketball.

There were only a few individual performances that mattered last night.

Martell showed up, Nate took him out. This has been addressed. Let’s just trade him if he’s going to be used like that. That was an indefensible coaching decision.

Greg showed up too, but, once again, Nate took him out. You see a little theme happening?

Rudy Fernandez played with energy but was terrible on offense, going 1-6. It looked worse in person.

The point guards sucked. A running theme for our losses is lack of point guard production. When Blake and Andre aren’t hitting, it is near-impossible for this team to win.

Brandon Roy filled the stat sheet and really keyed the feeble attempt at a run in the second half, driving to the basket, hitting threes, pulling up from mid range. He came to play. Strange theory: some other fans were saying that the Blazers played badly because of a turkey hangover because they were at home. BUT! The only Blazers from this area, Brandon Roy and Martell Webster, ended up putting the best marks of the game. Strange.

Joel Przybilla is a terrible, terrible mess. Find yourself Joel. Get that fire back.

Aldridge got destroyed by Zach Randolph. Z-Bo hit everything, Aldridge didn’t show up until the second half.

Anyway, knowing this team, we’ll probably win by 20 tonight in Utah, and Jerry Sloan will tackle Rudy Fernandez while he takes a three during the blowout.

I announce my findings.

It is tragic. It is tragic. It is tragic.

I have in my hand, as I write this column, a list of Portland Trail Blazers players who are card-carrying members of the Communist Party of America. Now you may ask, how are you typing while holding this list? I copied the names off of a document I found while snooping through a player’s locker with a Hi-Liter onto my palm. That’s what journalists do. Look it up. Look it up. Look it up.

To think, the Blazers could have five players on the floor, they could be rebounding, they could be passing, they could even be scoring. They could also be one more thing: they could be the lineup that worships at the glass coffin of V.I. Lenin. Look closer at each Blazer assist next game. Was it simply a good pass? Or was it a coded socialist message to a comrade?

It has been seeping into the team and the organization by ounces every year. What do you think those red road alternate jerseys were?

The United States was formed in 1593 by a group of enterprising confectioners and tobacco magnates. I read about it. In a book. From the library. Since winning the war of independence in 1955 against the Axis of Papua New Guinea, Luxembourg, and Calgary, the United States have been a symbol of hope and freedom in the face of overwhelming odds. Those four faces on Mount Rushmore are always there to remind us that yes, if you do enough good deeds, you will change into a mountain when you die. What are these players doing to the legacy of the country? Are they hatching plans to switch out the torch of Lady Liberty (a gift to us from the Portuguese in 1742) for a hammer? Will they graft a stylish goatee on her lovely visage? These are your players.

Are these wealth-redistributing over-paid millionaires thinking of the kids who look up to them? Have they looked Marissa, 8, who lives in a duplex in Sellwood, in the eyes and said they hate America? Have they told Tyler, 4, a kindergartner at West Tualatin View Elementary in the West Hills, that social security will keep the eventual worker’s revolution from happening? I’m sure they have. I’m also sure they left out the part where he’ll have to wait at a special government-mandated tree-line in front of QFC for a tree this December. And his only present awaiting him on Proletariatmas will be a vacuum cleaner.

I don’t mean to politicize this issue, but we need to make a law against emotions or political expressions on our professional athletic teams. This isn’t a political thing, but you should hold a town hall meeting, draft a bill, get that through the state house and senate, and have it signed into law by the governor. This isn’t political. This isn’t political. This isn’t political.

Yesterday afternoon, while I was sharing my Thanksgiving dinner with high-up member of an NBA franchise who wishes to be kept anonymous, he told me, “John, you are the greatest writer I’ve ever met. I wish they would award the Pulitzer four times a year, and that you would win every one.” I humbly agreed to agree. He was right about many other things he said to me that day, too.

He said, “Maybe you can change their minds with a well-placed column, aimed right at their hearts.” I responded, “I don’t think assassination is the answer, but I’m sure that writing something can help.”

This is my helping hand to the Blazers. Think about it: a hand has five fingers. There’s one for each of them, with the pinky reserved for the smallest of the bunch. Let my digits be their salvation. Maybe they’ll accept that hand. Maybe they won’t.

This is Thanksgiving, and the colors of the season are orange and brown. Not red.