Trail Post

Last week, so long ago during that horrible Turkoglu ordeal, this blog ran a post which included a long list of guys that would be better fits on the team. Let’s review it, just to see where we are relative to then, and what is available to us.

Mike Bibby
Leon Powe
Raymond Felton
Brandon Bass
Jason Kidd
Birdman Andersen
Antonio McDyess
Rasheed Wallace
Trevor Ariza
Lamar Odom
Ramon Sessions
David Lee
Andre Miller
Paul Millsap

As you can see, there are very few people left, and realistically speaking, there are only about four names left from the ones that are left: Ramon Sessions, David Lee, Paul Millsap, and Brandon Bass. Our PF questions can be answered through free agency, and our PG of the future will have to be had through trades. Still, Sessions would be a dream player, because this team could use the poor man’s Chris Paul/the lower middle class man’s Devin Harris.

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush: we’re interested in Millsap and Millsap is interested in us. This guy is the dream backup for the Blazers. He is one of the most tenacious rebounders in the league and is totally fearless on the court. He’ll bring the Blazers their first tenacious underdog since Brian Grant. If we sign him, prepare for the team’s new fan favorite.

The only hindrance to all of this going through is the money. Is it really worth it to drop 8 million dollars per year on a backup power forward? Will the money placate him into accepting a backup role despite the fact that he’s a young borderline all-star? Honestly, at this point, LaMarcus Aldridge is only barely better than Millsap. To put the two on the same team may hurt both of them. Would it be worthwhile to pay 8 mil to a guy getting 20 minutes per game? Then again, we’ll be paying 9 mil to a guy playing zero minutes per game. It just comes down to Millsap himself. If he’s willing to sublimate his ego in favor of his checkbook in order to play for a better team (and the Blazers are better than the Jazz), then the Blazers will be a damn scary team to play against next season. Let’s keep on hoping guys.

Dear Mrs. Turkoglu,I get where you’re coming from. Honestly, what self-respecting Turkish woman would want to live in Portland, Oregon? We have absolutely no diversity whatsoever. I mean, we’re the whitest major city in the United States, and probably the world. The closest thing to a second language that we have is Hick English, the chosen dialect of many parts of East Multnomah County. What foreigner would want to deal with that? I know I wouldn’t. Thank you Mrs Turkoglu (yes Mrs, as that’s how they write it where you’ll be living now), thank you for helping your husband come to his senses and realize what a horrible choice it would be to live here and play with a contender. It’s much better that he chose a team that mortgaged its future for him. After all, Toronto is much more friendly to Turks, that I’m sure of. Portland’s idea of Turkish cuisine a place with a kebab on the same menu as bento and burgers. You made the right move, Mrs Turkoglu.

Just to prove how pleased this blog is with your decision and your help with your husband, here are a few words from Canada that may not make sense to someone whose previous English immersion was in Orlando.

Chesterfield: Apparently this is a couch. News to me. You’ll have to figure this one out on your own Mrs Turkoglu.

Garburator: That’s an in-sink garbage disposal. Wow, these people have weird terms.

Eavestrough: A gutter? Man, I’m beginning to think you made the wrong move.

Hoser: A term of affection. It will often be used to describe Bryan Colangelo and your husband in the years to come. It just means that the local fans absolutely love 35-win seasons.

Eh: A negator. Much like the pas in French (another language you’ll have to familiarize yourself with), this negates the phrase that precedes it, as in “Hedo Turkoglu sucks, eh.” They’re simply saying that your husband doesn’t suck, so don’t worry.

So, Canada may have some weird terms that make no sense anywhere else in the world, but hey, we all have our little cultural quirks. Anyway, you shouldn’t distress, Mrs Turkoglu; you made the right move. You’ll be in a place with culture and snow (Did I forget to mention the snow? Expect a lot more of that stuff than you would have found in Turkey or Orlando or even Sacramento.) and hospitality. I’m sure the Canadians will reciprocate the love you have for their city. Thank you for steering your husband to the place he should be. Thank you most of all for getting your husband out of our city.

Sincerely,
Trail Post

Meet Blazers fans’ new second-favorite team:

Thank you so much to the cartoon dinosaurs for helping us dodge a bullet that really could have been a doozy.

Now it’s official. Well, quasi-official. Hedo Turkoglu is going to be a Portland Trailblazer.

We’re spending every dime we have right now on a guy that barely improves the team, is as overrated a shooter as there is in the NBA, and has as inflated a reputation for clutch heroics as Chauncey Billups.

In the next few years, whether we have success (and that success can only be a championship now, and nothing else) or withering, horrible defeat, this decision will be one we look back on. It will be the one where we say, “Wow, he thought ahead of us and made the move to make us a title-winner,” or, if we lose, many of us will be justified, saying, “This terribly short-sighted move just cost the team a championship. Every move that he made up to now means nothing. He made a deal that Bob Whitsitt would have shaken his head at.”

In the name of quick potential improvement, we may have just sold out our long-time goals. We signed a player that will stunt the growth of Nicolas Batum and Rudy Fernandaz, guys whose potential is much higher than Hedo Turkoglu could ever dream. We signed a declining player who can’t play defense in a contract year just because he had a good postseason performance. This could be the decision that may undo the team in the long run and keep us from getting over the top. Hopefully I’m wrong.

But for now, I’m feeling Pritch-slapped.

Don’t worry folks, it’s not here. Zach Randolph was traded yet again, this time to the Memphis Grizzlies. Depending on your perspective, the Grizzlies may have just come off like the guy who traded a paper clip for a house through Craigslist. They started with Darko Milicic, who is mostly worthless, then got Quentin Richardson, who is less worthless, and then got Zach Randolph, who is a 20 and 10 guy. Then again, he’s not a winner and doesn’t play defense. So, the Grizzlies traded a paper clip for a slightly sturdier paper clip. Either way, congrats to Zach. Fourth team’s the charm.

Still, the best news to come from this is the return of Quentin Richardson to Los Angeles. If Mike Dunleavy had a soul (which of course, he doesn’t - look into those eyes, there’s not even a hint of empathy), he would look into truly completing the Quentin Richardson deal by signing one Darius Miles. Look, Miles already screwed us over by trying to follow his dream, so it’s only fair that we should get some compensation by reuniting the most exciting duo of the early decade. Then again, it would probably just end up macabre and depressing, as somehow Miles would break his wrist doing the head bump after a half-hearted lay-up.

PLEASE REUNITE US

Seems like Turkoglu’s our man.

What the Blazers are going through right now is very similar to what a movie production company goes through when casting an actor for a new film. It wants to make sure that he has a good history, makes successful movies, and can put asses in the seats. This is when they sign Will Smith. The Blazers just decided to sign Keanu Reeves.

Like Reeves, Turkoglu is enough above average to get by. He’s by no means near the conversation as one of the best small forwards in the league, but he’s a solid player that knows how to hit a key shot. He’s a smarter version of Travis Outlaw. Do we need that? Of course we do. Is it worth fifty million dollars? Come on. This past post-season is Turkoglu’s Matrix; “see, he can show up and make a difference!” apologists say. Of course, that would make his Game 5 performance Matrix Revolutions.

Just to let you know how much Trail Post is against this signing, here’s a list of free agents that we’d rather be offering money to right now than Hedo Turkoglu:

Mike Bibby
Leon Powe
Raymond Felton
Brandon Bass
Jason Kidd (but not much more than Turkoglu)
Birdman Andersen
Antonio McDyess
Rasheed Wallace (that would be a dream scenario that would never happen)
Ron Artest
Trevor Ariza
Lamar Odom
Jamaal Magloire (just kidding, checking if you’re still reading)
Ramon Sessions
David Lee
Andre Miller
Paul Millsap

Here’s a little running theme amongst all these guys: only three of them are small forwards. The rest are backup big men and point guards. We don’t need a small forward right now. We have two good young ones that both have the potential to be as good or better than Turkoglu. If we locked him up in a long-term deal, we might as well be declaring that Batum will never be a great player in a Blazer uniform. It’ll be fun to see him win titles with another team in a couple of years.

I never thought I’d see the day when Kevin Pritchard falls victim to that horrible specter known as “conventional wisdom” but here we are. We see a guy who has never been great produce well in one playoffs, and all of a sudden he’s the hottest commodity out there. Why aren’t we running his numbers through the thousand Nobel-worthy algorithms that we use in the draft? This is free agency in a recession, and we’re the big buyer. We don’t need to blow it on a guy that offers little marginal improvement.

Two sad goodbyes in less than a week. Both players were a miniscule measure above entirely useless to the team right now, but they had their own charms. While Sergio’s were entirely on-court, Channing represented everything that was great about this team and did it proudly. By the end, he not only represented the Blazers to Portland, but Portland for the Blazers (if that makes sense). We’ve all heard the stories of sightings of Channing out at brewpubs and various art Thursdays. He took to all the great parts of Portland, and wanted all of us to join in with him. Too bad his skill set on the court didn’t include defense or rebounding.

He was replaced by some draft picks that hopefully have those skills, but it will be impossible to replace the value he had to the city of Portland. To this day, I still take shorter showers and carpool with a buddy because of Channing.

If there’s one guy who absolutely deserves success and deserves to destroy us on another team, it’s Channing. He needs to drop like 40 on LaMarcus and have us all questioning KP and demanding Nate’s head. He’s earned it.

Originally I was going to put this in the draft post, but this guy deserves his own credit.

Sergio was probably one of the top two most polarizing players on the team over the last three years (along with Travis Outlaw). He showed such flair and potential in his first season, wowing everyone on a pretty crappy team. He had such a joy for the game that was great to see after the nastiness of the last few seasons. He even was being whispered as a secret steal and a building block or the team in the future. Of course, that all disappeared over the following seasons with Portland.

Sergio’s greatest weakness was his inability to play defense and knock down an open jump shot. Unfortunately, those are probably the two most important traits that a point guard must have in the Blazers’ system. In the attempt to mold Sergio into that player, his creativity was ground out of him, and he merely became a crappy version Steve Blake.

Here’s hoping that Sergio gets the time and the success that he deserves in Sacramento. He had no place here anymore, and his welcome was more than worn out by the trade requests. The best that I could hope from this is that Sergio becomes a starting-quality guard or maybe even a star with the Kings. He plays such a fun style, and it would be a treat to see him flourish.

What the hell just happened?

It’s fun to read a bunch of pre-draft scouting reports and expect so much and then the guy you get’s name is pronounced VEEK-tor. It’s like asking for a Power Ranger action figure for a birthday and getting the knock-off Dollar Store “Space Ranger;” it’s not the same. Then again, the move was somewhat anticipated.

I’ve never seen so many fans just go crazy over who or who won’t be the guy to be selected by the Blazers to be stored overseas for like five years until he comes over, Arvydas Sabonis style, and has bulging back discs explode like so many microwaved potatoes.

Claver seems, from the few reports I’ve read, like a very solid player. Still, I wonder why we need a 20-year-old small forward when we already have a 20-year-old small forward that is NBA-ready. Just thinking out loud here. Then again, if he was the best player available and that was Pritchard’s strategy, I’m with that. Also, he’s exceptionally valuable to us because he won’t take up a roster spot for at least the next two seasons. Does this sound like me talking myself into a questionable pick? It should. Honestly, though, there wasn’t much value to be had at this pick, and we were later vindicated with other picks.

The two early second round picks of Jeff Pendergraph and Dante Cunningham were absolutely perfect. They give us that hungry blue-collar back-up power forward that the entire fan community has been clamoring for throughout the season. Even better that they were picked at the same time and there will be competition for minutes. Unfortunately, this spells the end for a number of Blazers, namely Shavik and Ruffin. Too bad.

Full disclosure here: I stopped watching the draft after the 40th pick because I figured we weren’t going to get and real value and I had places to be. Who knew that we would end up with an actual player so late in the draft? Patty Mills is a solid point guard and could be a contributor, or at least have some trade value, in the future.

The real greatness of the off-season will be postponed until July. We still have the glaring gap at the PG spot. We’ll have to wait until July 8th until we actually have a chance to address it through trade, as that’s when we can start making our unbalanced trades. I’m hoping that it’s Hinrich, but honestly, I’m more of an ABB man: Anyone But Blake.

Basically, one minor need was addressed during this entire episode, with the back-up power forward spot being in flux yet solidified. This is the first time I can say it during the Pritchard era: that draft was anti-climactic.

We have way too many picks and way too much young talent. Let’s get some release. It’s effing draft day. We’ll have something to talk about tomorrow, too.

We get to open those presents under the tree in only five hours. It’s incredible that the wait is finally over.

Dude’s a draft day junkie.

He needs to make that trade even if it is incredibly minor and inconsequential. You can give us all the line that he did it to move ahead of Kings because they’re eying a point guard. We all know the real reason: Kevin Pritchard trades just to prove he can.

Draft fever has officially taken over the whole of Blazer nation. I’ve never seen so many fans just go crazy over who or who won’t be the guy to be selected by the Blazers to be stored overseas for like five years until he comes over, Arvydas Sabonis style, and has bulging back discs explode like so many microwaved potatoes. This hysteria is the appendix of Blazer fans. We evolved to have it because it fulfilled that dire need of giving us something to hope for after seasons of players being convicted for increasingly absurd crimes. (Qyntel Woods bribed a sherpa into robbing a Build-a-Bear Workshop? Why not?) Now it’s just a vestige of that silly past. How often do contenders get an immediate impact player late in the first round? Is it really possible for a rookie to change the fortunes of a team that tied for the second-best record in the Western Conference? Let’s just face it, this draft pick at 24 will give us a player that will, at the very best, help us gain maybe one more win this season. (Of course, the natural improvement of our other players could net even more than that.)

Even worse, Kevin Pritchard basically lives to make every sports writer and blogger wrong. When everyone expected a trade at the deadline and as we all wasted countless hours figuring out ways to trade Travis Outlaw while keeping the contracts just so, he decided just to stay put. Any possible mock draft for the Blazers can’t take into account where the Blazers will actually be picking. Does anyone actually think they’ll be using all five of those draft picks this year? The only foreseeable outcome I could see from drafting and keeping players with all these picks is some bizarre and perverse Paul Allen experiment that takes place in a secret research facility twenty stories below the Space Needle to create the perfect athlete from the body parts of the cream of the second round. It’s that simple: Paul Allen creating Frankenballer in the Nega-Needle is likelier than us not making a trade.

That’s the statement we’re receiving right now from Allen’s terrible cyber-punk subterranean lair, too (The not making a trade thing, not the playing God thing). The only tidbit of actual information that we’re receiving from the Blazer camp at this moment is the equivalent of these two words: “It’s on.” How on is it? Trail Post hopes that it’s at least “til the break of dawn.” “Like Donkey Kong” would be acceptable, but we’d prefer if he was “in a thong.” “Like Stevie Ray Vaughan” would simply be inexcusable.

What’s the moral of all of this? A tidbit of actual information is an oasis during the slow time leading to the draft.

I’m tired of trade machines and salary cap figures. I’m tired of speculation. Even flimsy news like this is the stuff to propel a fan to Thursday. We know we’ll have something under the tree this Christmas. Some of us use the trade machine and shake the present around trying to surmise the contents. Me, I’ll just let it sit there under the tree, content with the thought that it’ll be opened soon. After all - it’s on.

We all know the story of the 1984 draft, when the Blazers missed out on the greatest player of all time in order to pick an injury-prone center. It’s been repeated ad nauseum ever since MJ solidified his position as the greatest of all time. Well, I don’t think it’s fair to short-change the team for just one bad move. Let’s look at some other missed opportunities at draft time.

1985: Scott Howard, Beacon High School - Once thought to be one of the top picks of this draft class, Howard dropped off the board once he revealed that he would not be using his “wolf form” intentionally ever again, reducing the wolf’s frequency to only once a month. This raises the question: is it worthwhile to draft a player that would only be great one day a month? The answer: look at the career of NBA champion Lamar Odom.

1986: Billy Hoyle, Indiana - This unassuming player’s value disappeared at the player combine with Hoyle’s incredibly disappointing vertical leap. Still, with his incredible shooting and strong passing, Hoyle could have been a strong back-up point guard for the emerging Blazers team.

1994: Neon Boudreaux, Western University - Disgraced by scandal, Boudreaux tried to make a jump to the NBA due to be banned by the NCAA. Still, no team was willing to take on a player that may or may not have been involved with gambling, even if he could be one of the most dominant rebounders of his era.

1995: Saleh, Kenya - Saleh made for an intriguing prospect due to his incredible height, and somewhat natural feel for the game, demonstrating a “shake and bake” in inter-tribal games. However, the recent failures of inexperienced big men such as Yinka Dare and Manute Bol proved to be powerful deterrents to drafting this blue chipper.

1996: Bill Murray, Regis University - Former Ghostbuster and star of Groundhog Day, Murray proved himself to be multitalented during a win against the NBA ability-imbued Monstars with the help of Michael Jordan and a few animated characters. He showed great court vision and strong communication skills with his teammates. He could have worked well as a mentor and back up point guard for a playoff team that needed that final push over the top. I mean, his decision making, aside from this picture, was at least better than Rod Strickland’s.

1997: Kenny Tyler, Washington - After losing his older brother to a freak dunking accident, Tyler gained nearly supernatural abilities, as his vertical leap increased to ten feet or more at times. His new-found athletic gifts led the Huskies to the championship and he even won the player of the tournament award. Fans in the Northwest salivated at the chance of having Tyler run the floor instead of Isaiah Rider. Alas, when he failed to reproduce the results he had throughout the season at the combine, rumors of juicing became louder, and Tyler’s promising career was ended before it could start.

1999: Buddy, Fernfield High School - Honestly, this dog could shoot free throws better than Chris Dudley.

As we can see, the Blazers have missed some opportunities throughout their history in regards to unique talents. Hopefully they are much more focused this week.

Last night, the Lakers won the championship in the most anticlimactic game in the most anticlimactic Finals of all time. Basically, this postseason was a Dan Brown book. Fun and full of intrigue throughout the first three quarters, but it just falls apart at the end and becomes a series of cliches,  with plot hole after plot hole. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tom Hanks was running around with some Cuban ingenue underneath Amway Arena during Game 5 questioning the religious symbology of Gloria Estefan’s “The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You” and comparing that to the Masonic undertones of Cinderella’s Castle at Disney World. I digress.

The Lakers won it all last night. Let’s take a look at their lineup and see what a championship team looks like.

PG: An older, and by some accounts washed-up, PG who has a knack for the big shot. A veteran who can play good defense and makes solid decisions on the court.

SG: Arguably the best SG alive.

SF: A headcase full of unrealized talent.

PF: A skilled big man that man have called “soft.”

C: A foul-prone young man that never made as big a difference, be it positive or negative, as anyone hoped he would.

The Bench:

A young and physical defensive player that doesn’t shy from the big shot.

A workmanlike backup guard that is mostly known for his intelligence.

A crowd favorite young big-man that is known for a strong work ethic.

A bust of a small forward that has become a joke in his short career.

A role player that is both better than he should be yet still never lives up to what some thought he could be.

The most hated hair in the NBA and a strong outside shooter.

Assorted scraps.

Your 2009 Champions, the Los Angeles Lakers.

I will grant you, these descriptions are very brief and they may omit some of the more subtle nuances about some of these players, but I feel they boil the players down to their essences. What’s funny is how much these essences match those of our Blazers. They can also, perhaps, point out some of our own needs and deficiencies.

The best shooting guard alive description can apply at times to one of our own. The soft and skilled power forward description as well. Unfortunately, the foul-prone young center too. Also, we have our share of assorted scraps.

Where we differ, however, could be what separates us from being championship caliber. We don’t have the defensive stopper veteran point guard. Blake is a veteran and can run the team, but he can’t do everything. Trevor Ariza is everything that we hoped Travis Outlaw could be. He uses his size and his length to bother the other team while still scoring and picking his spots, even if he is a SOB.  What’s intriguing is the idea of the head case small forward kept in line by the great shooting guard.  That part of the formula can get fulfilled this summer if we want it to happen.

Of course, there are also categories where we can and may have already surpassed the Lakers too. Rudy’s better than the hated hair. Martell and Batum are better options than Walton. Przybilla is leagues ahead of Mbenga. Theoretically, Bayless may end up better than Farmar.

Still, these guys have a ring, and we don’t. There’s been a lot of talk this offseason as to what the Blazers should do and shouldn’t do. Sometimes it’s good to look at a case study and actually see what works. It’s reassuring to know we are so close to being where the Lakers are, yet distressing to know that yes, we have a few steps (be it through trades or experience) to take to become a championship team.

There’s a certain desperation to a basketball fan during that period between the season’s end, be it due to overwhelming underachievement or playoff elimination. It’s the scrounge for any possible bit of information and hope that it means something, that it means that THINGS ARE HAPPENING. You see the behavior in drug cases, with addicts free-basing leftovers with a car’s cigarette lighter. Blazer fans, I introduce you to your car lighter.

According to a translated report from the Spanish version of Yahoo! (here’s your leftovers), there’s already a deal in place with the Knicks for Sergio (and there’s the lighter). You know what makes a trade great? When it happens before trades are even allowed. Finally some spice to this off-season! We don’t have to wait that ungodly two weeks until the draft; we’re getting it now. Who is he traded for? Who cares? It’s even better this way! Facts don’t keep the off-season entertaining; speculation does. Can we figure out a way to trade Sergio, the city of Vancouver, and sixer of Bridgeport for David Lee and Brooklyn? It works out for both parties; New York can reverse engineer how to brew good beer and have a low-rent borough to match with their cheap PG that knows how to run the break and the newly formed city of Portlyn will become a hipster mecca where cars turn into those absurd tall bicycles and the team will have a low post banger that presents a different look whenever LaMarcus Aldridge is out of the game.

If that offer is too much, I think we’d gladly take Nate Robinson and the Statue of Liberty for Sergio and the submarine from The Hunt for Red October.

What do these scenarios have in common with those posited by Blazers fans throughout the region? They’re equally plausible. Has anyone expected them to make the moves they did on draft day over the last three years¹? Honestly, the Blazers front office puts up smoke and mirrors just to distract the media from the smoke and mirrors. It’s telling that Pritchard’s media relations consist of reporters conversing with a green-tinted hydrocephalitic disembodied version of his head on the giant arena view screen in the Rose Garden, as he broadcasts from the crater of Mount St. Helens.

All of the analysis out there leaves out a simple question: what makes Sergio attractive? Is it that he isn’t cut out for playoff basketball? Can it be that he’s one of the few international players in the NBA that can’t even make his home country’s squad? How about that lack of defense? He’s a mediocre player with a ceiling of being “barely good.” He could doubtlessly reach that ceiling with the Knicks. But what would we want from them? Their high pick? Need to throw in more than Sergio? Lee? That’s a heap of contract trouble waiting to happen. Nate Robinson? We already have one Nate Robinson All Star; why do we need two? If Sergio’s dealt to the Knicks, it will be in a convoluted and ingenious way that none of us could figure out. I’m getting into this trade proposal process. It’s fun. Maybe every blog post on here until the draft will be a kind of trade idea. ESPN’s servers will catch flame because I’ll be overusing that trade machine. Thank goodness that story came out about Sergio.

Oh wait, the reporter came out with a mea culpa about the story on Twitter that was the equivalent of a LOL JK LOL? The deal wasn’t in place? No agreement between Blazers and Knicks on Sergio? Did I just get sucked into this horrible game of “Who are we getting?” Ugh. It’s easy to make fun of those people with the crazy theories hunting through the floor mats looking for any morsel, real or imaginary, they can find. It’s different when they make you one of them. I guess it’s just time to enjoy the ride. Draft’s in two long and slow weeks.

Can you guys pass that lighter? I need a fix.

¹Aside from the Oden pick, of course