Trail Post - A Portland Trail Blazers Blog

A week ago, when I joined all of the fans in the Rose Garden in the “Javie Sucks” chant, a minuscule thought traced through my brain in between angered beer-fueled yelling. It was I wish I could hear what Mike Rice is saying right now. I don’t think I’ll ever know what he said or what he was thinking at that time. My imagination tells me that Rice took a swig of whatever was in that plastic souvenir cup, drew in a breath with a brilliant thought at the ready, and just held it. He knew he didn’t need to say anything. He’d finally done it. His incoherent ramblings over the past two decades finally succeeded - for about two minutes, the Rose Garden was Mike Rice.

It’s scary to think, isn’t it? How rare is it when a golf-fiend senior citizen becomes the voice of a generation? The list must be two people long: Johnny Cash and Mike Rice. My generation of Blazer fans grew up on the man. He was the one telling us the stories on the radio when Blazervision held the games hostage, and he’s since moved on to amusing us on the television. For a generation of Portlanders under 25, Mike Rice is our friendly uncle. He shows up at our houses a few times a week, sits down, throws back a gin and tonic, and spins yarns (yeah, I said it, yarns) that composed of 10% fact, 20% BS, and 70% half-baked incoherence. He’s just a delightful scoundrel, always telling tall tales, and trying to figure out a way to golf for free. Sure, he occasionally embarrasses himself, pronouncing names wrong or descending deep into the woods of homerism, but that’s just the charm for us.

It was his history both with Portland fans and Javie that created that situation a week ago. He’s been wearing us down for years and years, constantly ingratiating himself through a series astute observations, X-factors, and vaguely sexual game commentary (”I love Jack off the bench,” “I’d love to get a better look at that young man’s legs,” anything about penetration) until everyone that enters the Rose Garden understands where he is coming from: the NBA is fun, it shouldn’t be taken too seriously, and any referee that screws up deserves to know about it. Rice did his part fifteen years ago, becoming the first announcer to be ejected from an NBA when he was kicked out by Javie. We continued his tradition that night. He’s done enough jeering and needling on our behalf through his career, and on that night, we returned the favor.

I think that’s enough. Blazers killed ‘em and Shaq bugged his eyes out in response.

Today’s a sad day in the life of anyone who follows the Portland sports scene and happens to be on Twitter and has stopped reading the sports section of the Oregonian and doesn’t listen to The Game between 3 PM and 6 PM. Da_Real_Canzano has been shut down. John Canzano boasted, “The BFT impersonator has been formally removed by Twitter for copyright infringement.” I guess the long national nightmare is over.

For those of you who don’t know, Da_Real_Canzano was a twitterer (tweeter?) who would imitate John Canzano and make fun of his hack-like persona in a variety of increasingly hilarious ways. I’ve never known that a person could come up with so many jokes about chewing on pencils and still have them be fresh (the jokes, not the pencils). All of us in that tiny group described above now know the greatest tasting of them all is Dixon Ticonderoga. It’s sad that we never got to learn the identity of this genius.

Through all of it Canzano lashed out against DRC on his radio show, oblivious to the fact that the guy was great publicity for the column and the show. He called out the fake Canzano, making homophobic insinuations about DRC. Still, Canzano was beaten and beaten badly, so he resorted to his last defense - he tattled to Twitter. Soon enough, DRC was knocked off for copyright infringement. Who knew that writing like a hack was infringement? (Does that mean I owe Canzano royalties?)

It turned out the last post that DRC ever made was in response to Canzano bragging about running into Brandon Roy at the DMV. DRC responded with something to the effect of, “Yeah, I met Brandon Roy at the DMV…after tailing him for 20 hours. That’s what a columnist does BFT.” It’s fitting that DRC got the last laugh against this uptight and humorless target. You will be missed.

I’ll chew a pencil for a homie.

I got a hot stock tip for you guys. It’s a company called SEG Co. SEG Co. is a company that works in the developing world giving them something that America has an overabundance of. That product? Shit-eating grins. Lord, if I’d only invested in them before last night’s game, I’d probably be a millionaire (or at least have the beer paid for). These grins were everywhere, whether it was Igoudala giggling as he went to the line while mouthing to a teammate, “I know that wasn’t a foul,” or it was Steve Javie, the generalissimo of shit-eating grins, smirking as twenty thousand people all told him that he was horrible at his job.

And that’s what it comes down to for the fans from last night. It was a great game, some details of which will be addressed later, but the officiating marred it. I think it’s fair to expect a certain kind of professionalism and even-handedness. No, I’m not saying that the game was fixed, because honestly, who really cares about a game between the Sixers and Blazers? David Stern isn’t commanding his army of winged demons to wait outside Steve Javie’s house if he gives Brandon Roy a foul call. Put simply, it’s just unnaturally bad officiating. The Sixers shot 39 foul shots to the Blazers’ 17. Some of this difference can be accounted for in the torrent of free throws to end the game, but that still leaves a massive disparity. The worst part was that these calls and non-calls decided the game.

The game tonight wasn’t decided on Brandon Roy’s airball at the end of regulation. It was when Aldridge was called for a weak foul against Igoudala. Igoudala made SEG Co. holders a lot of money as he stepped to the line and drained two shots. Brandon obviously didn’t have it last night and looked hopeless as he tried to shake Willie Green. That call was a dagger. However, the officiating went from horrible to worse during the overtime. Brandon Roy gets mugged two times in a row, once when the Blazers are down 1, and once when down 3, with both muggings leading to Sixers fast breaks. The refs gave eight points to the Sixers (in four point swings, of course). Now, I hate to say the refs were biased against us, but come on. I don’t mind when the referees do a bad job; after all, it’s tough work to get every call right. I mind when the referees do a bad job and only one team gets all the benefits. If you’re calling contact, call it on both sides. If you’re letting them play, do it on both sides. No matter what, last night shouldn’t have happened. No team should get every bad call to go its way.

The officiating last night is made even more horrible because it ruined a good game. There was tons of energy on both sides and serious emotional swings as the game went on. To start the game, Reggie Evans, looking by the day more like Rick Ross, was out on the floor pumping up his teammates even though the refs were waiting for him to get off the floor for the tip off. Throughout the game Evans was just a great show for any fans that happened to watch him.

Theo Ratliff constantly had whimsical looks from the bench, as if he was in “For Love of the Game” style flashback. I can imagine him in the Rose Garden, looking up at the Hustle Board and thinking, “Ah yes, I blocked 11 shots in a game and that kid was able to walk because of it.”

The most awkward pre-game ritual of all time probably consisted of Philadelphia’s trainer rubbing up and down on Willie Green’s back in a motion that at its best could be called a deep caress and at its worst could be called a furious dry hump. It led my girlfriend to remark that she hoped the trainer used protection. He did - rubber gloves and a Shamwow.

The Blazers looked like they were having fun throughout the game, even during the miserable opening half. They came out with fire in the second and stormed back in the game. There were heroes everywhere, from Oden to Blake to Aldridge to Rudy. It just happened that the automatic guy had one of his most disappointing games of the season.

This isn’t meant to pile on Brandon. Dude comes out and brings top-level game 95% of the time. It just happened that tonight he had an off-night. Tough luck, and you’d have to be crazy to blame anything on him.

Ceci n’est pas un foul

And in the now typical “Nous aimons Nicolas Batum” section, we love Nicolas Batum. He made some great things happen when he was on the floor, and it was sad to see him have so few minutes.

Speaking of sad to see him leave, it was horrible to see Travis leave with what might have been a broken finger. He was doing a great job last night, and we probably could have used a bit more offense in overtime.

It was, all said, a damn fine game that just had a few blotches on it. The Mona Lisa with a mustard stain.

Last night, for the first time this season, a feel-good loss happened. If the Blazers had a full compliment of players, it would have been disappointing, for sure. However, the Blazers had the ball boy as the ninth man in the rotation last night. It was some tough luck. No matter that, the Blazers played some inspired defense for the third game during this road trip and really hit Cleveland in the mouth early, both figuratively and literally.

Greg Oden’s total disrespect of LeBron James is exactly what every Blazer fan wanted to see. It’s nice to have a rookie that doesn’t care about LeBron’s pedigree. Especially when it’s Greg. Dude’s been through more in his first two years than LeBron has been through in his entire career. He has to earn back respect from the people who called him soft due to freak injuries. LeBron’s never been injured. It’ll take that kind of tribulation to really decide where to rank LeBron on the list of greatest athletes of all time.

Joel keeps on playing like Joel, even though his Golden Gophers were put down.

Channing Frye was basically doing a LaMarcus Lite job. He hit his outside shots on the pick and pop and almost had no let-down between himself and the man he was replacing. It’s always good to know that Channing can step up and play when he’s absolutely needed. Reassuring.

Brandon Roy looked off and awkward throughout the game, but still ended up with a solid stat line. There’s no use explaining how this dude does it anymore. He’s an alien that exists in a different basketball-playing dimension. I assume he has tentacles in this dimension that he uses to push off on defensive players and guide the ball in on and one calls. Damn aliens.

Every other guard was pretty much horrible. We win this game with a few more three pointers. Hell, we probably win the game if Cleveland doesn’t set the NBA record for fewest turnovers in regulation. We probably win if Brandon Roy is a step back at the end of the game, or that shot goes in. We probably win if Brandon takes more than one shot in overtime. But honestly, the fact that the phrase “we probably win” exists after facing the team with the league’s best record and a 30-1 mark at home is incredible on its own. That’s a feel-good loss.

Come on dude! We both speak French and enjoy Portland basketball in one form or another. I was psyched when I saw that you actually were on Facebook. I took it upon myself to give you the rare honor of being a friend of mine. I don’t think you get it, Batum, I actually TRIM the rolls of people I don’t know. Come on man!

Okay, that’s it for my whining. Anyway, Nicolas Batum is on Facebook, and Trail Post did the stalking for the news you can’t get anywhere else. On the fifteenth, Batum said, “Kelkun a une nouvelle épaule droite svp?la mienne est morte.” Of course this means “Someone have a new right shoulder please (or plz)? Mine’s dead.” The illuminating qualities of Facebook. His entry from Monday said, “Nicolas Batum veu se faire grefer une nouvelle epaule,” meaning he wants to undergo a transplant for a new shoulder. The entry last night read, “La poisse continu:une cheville en moin youpi,” meaning, “The bad luck continues: an ankle at least yippee.” Seems like the dude’s in pain.

Anyway, the game against Cleveland starts soon, and the Blazers have absolutely no chance and nothing to lose. It’s tough to beat one of the best teams in the NBA without LaMarcus Aldridge and Nicolas Batum. There’s maybe a 2% shot of the Blazers winning, and that’s being generous.

Yesterday’s loss could cause some to start worrying. Maybe we’re going to fall out of the playoffs and go home early for yet another season, extending the NBA’s longest streak of seasons without playoffs. It’s easy to see why. The supporting cast did absolutely nothing. Batum and Rudy were invisible and Blake and Outlaw were clumsy. The other point guards made no noise (save for the thud that came after tripping over their own feet) for what seems like the tenth straight game, and Joel Przybilla somehow turned it over five times.

However, these are just symptoms. So, let’s just not go too far.. These coughs aren’t TB; they’re water going down the wrong pipe. Yesterday, the Hawks played as close to a perfect game as you can get in the NBA. They shot over 50%, they created tons of turnovers, and they pushed around the best rebounding team in the league. Yesterday the Blazers lost against a great home team while playing at 10 AM. Not too much to fret about to be honest.

If the Blazers screw up tonight, though? We may have to upgrade that prognosis to a cold. The two-headed monster named O.G. Gayo really shouldn’t be an issue for the team. The best case scenario would be to blow them out and be able to get some rest late in the game for the next big back-to-back on Wednesday.

I really hope this guy accepts my friend request on Facebook.

I mean, how many of us are there? And by us, I mean francophone Blazer fans. We can’t number greater than, I don’t know, 100? Maybe 200, tops. We should stick together, and the great uniter of Francoblazerphonie, our Barack Obama, is Nicolas Batum.

Tonight, he gave us reason to appreciate the choice. The man was nigh-unstoppable and every time he left the game, things turned into a complete disaster. That’s the sign of a young player growing into his role and leaving his mark. That, and the whole hitting the game-winning three-pointer thing. And the incredibly athletic blocks. And the dunk after dunk after dunk. In case you can’t tell yet, Nicolas is running away with the title of the blog’s favorite player, and it’s not even a close race.

Okay, that was a lie. The other horse, Brandon Roy, recovered from a horrendous start and proved the law of averages as he started hitting shots from the late third quarter on. He led the team with over 30 points for like the 80th time this season. It’s pretty easy to get to 30 though when you shoot 17 foul shots (out of a team total of 45).

Once again, good Travis showed up to save the day. He was making key plays everywhere and even playing good defense to boot. It was impossible to pick out any glaring mistakes in his play. Just great news to see Travis playing at the highest level of his career at exactly the right time.

Of course, the rest of the non-bench players were solid and contributed to the win. The bench Cerberus of Frye, Bayless, and Rodriguez were worse than unremarkable; they were just bad. They allowed the Nets to extend the lead, and really knocked the team out of sync whenever they came in.

Whatever, though. Nicolas got the chance he’s spent the whole season earning and capitalized on it. Congrats M. Incroyable. (Is that a good nickname? Anyone have suggestions?)

If you haven’t had your badass quota of the day filled yet, allow a M. Nicolas Batum to fill it for you. Still, it’s kind of ridiculous that the player that talks the most trash on the floor for the Blazers is a rookie that could barely even string together a sentence in English at the beginning of the season.

Is it funny to anyone else that Rudy Fernandez probably pronounces “Trevor Ariza” with a lisp?

Sorry guys, slow news day.

Wow.

There were about a million storylines going on during this game at once. I want to get to the biggest one, but first I must give a certain player who’s been treated badly by this blog his due: Nicolas Batum! Honestly, though, Travis Outlaw was incredible last night, and played like the player we expect him to be. He stayed within his abilities and took the right shots. Let’s just get to the game.

Before the team introductions, you could just tell the crowd was already simmering. The boos for the Lakers were louder than even the boos Jason Kidd got after it was revealed that he was a wife beater. I joked to a friend that this thing was going to turn into a blowout due to the energy of the crowd. When the game started, everyone was hitting. LaMarcus and Joel were unstoppable down low, pulling down 30 rebounds between them for the game, Brandon and Blake were hitting all kinds of shots, and Nicolas Batum was everywhere on the floor, swatting and dunking, dunking and swatting. Batum performed the “Affiche de Pau: Partie Deux” as he flew over Pau Gasol for a dunk, and then raised two fingers up, signaling the second time he’s posterized Gasol along with his own increasing confidence and swagger. With 4 minutes left, Nate shifted to the reserves, a time that had meant a dropoff in play during the past week, but not last night. Travis Outlaw, as said before, played his best game of the season and delivered a knockdown punch, leaving the Lakers dazed for the rest of the game. After the first half, things seemed academic. It was going to be a win, and the only question was if it would be by more than 25.

During half time, I got a chance to speak with Jim Caple from ESPN.com, as he was writing a piece for the site about the impact the economy’s had on the buying habits of Blazer fans. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t even plug the blog.

With less than a minute left in the quarter, I yelled over at Lamar Odom, “Hey Lamar, how are you liking this game?” Surprisingly enough, he responded by saying, “I don’t know, man, it’s okay,” as he moved his hand in a comme ci, comme ça gesture. To say the least, the Lakers were checked out and ready to get out of Portland as soon as possible. Then The Foul happened.

At the end of the quarter, Rudy stole the ball and was running right towards me, and then things moved in slow motion. All of us in the crowd could see Ariza coming at him from behind, and just hoped that maybe Rudy could just the ball in with an and-1. Instead, Ariza went across Rudy’s arms and his head, pulling Fernandez horizontal with a follow-through. Rudy flew in the air for a second until he disappeared in front of the photographers by the basket support. Then everyone got in it. It was, as Roy said, White versus Purple. Everyone got in each other’s face. Travis was quick with his elbows to stand up for Rudy, Roy went after Ariza, and it looked like Trevor was about to throw a punch at Portland’s other most beloved player. Aldridge and Odom rekindled their little relationship, jawing at each other, as Odom probably earned a suspension for coming off the bench during a fracas. Somewhat ironic considering how detached he was barely two minutes before.

Roy: Pissed. Bavetta: Thinking about Matlock.

The Foul showed the heart of the team. When their guy went down, they were completely fearless and ready to stand up for him. They were not ready to be pushed around by anyone. Special credit to Outlaw and Aldridge for bucking their “soft” reputation and taking it upon themselves to defend their man. Special credit to Jordan Farmar for immediately going to Rudy right after The Foul occurred in order to try to help him up. Special credit to blind luck for Joel Przybilla not being in the game. I can’t imagine what he would have done to Ariza if he was on the floor at the time of The Foul. And finally, even more credit to Kurt Rambis for clotheslining a ballboy and then throwing him by his neck after The Foul.

The fourth quarter was just tense and uneasy. The crowd just wanted the game to be over so they could get in their cars to listen to the latest news about Rudy’s injury. The Lakers opportunistically outscored the Blazers by 13 in the quarter to make the blowout look a little more respectable. Pau Gasol did not return to the game after The Foul. After all of it, the Blazers had destroyed the best team in the NBA. People were almost as quiet filing out as they were when Turkoglu hit that horrible 3 pointer during the Orlando game. They politely took their chalupa coupons while asking each other what was wrong with Rudy.

It had been years and years since the last time I actually went to a game against the Lakers. When I was younger, I remember the insanity of the fans, and it was understandable. This team was your rival, the one keeping you from the top. Now we have the longest streak without playoffs in the NBA. But last night, I was just caught off guard. It was a pulsing hatred for the team that the fans had. It was the heartbeat of the blowout. The fans were relentless with their chants, moving from “Beat LA” to “LA sucks” as emotions and BACs started to run higher. Even the Rose Garden camera operators, so quick to censor anything that might not be “family friendly,” got in on the act, showing guys wearing t-shirts that read “Kobe blows Shaq” (which is just wrong; Kobe tastes his ass).

Looking back with the knowledge of the relative mildness of Rudy’s injury, I can safely say that it was the team’s best game of the year, and a major statement. The Blazers can beat any team in the NBA.

For Blazer fans, it’s easy to be full of hate towards the Los Angeles Lakers. Some fans even consider the name to be a swear word. Others come up with nicknames of varying creativity, such as the Fakers, or vulgarity, such as the Fu - you get the idea. We can all understand why, too. The last great Blazer team was demolished in the worst loss in NBA history against arguably the least likable team in NBA history (that wasn’t the Blazers). There was Rick Fox’s preening attitude, acting like a tough guy while starring in Whoopi Goldberg movies. There was Brian Shaw’s Shawtastic tendencies (which would be a great name for a funk band). Of course, we can’t forget Derek Fisher’s endless flopping. Oh God, then there was Robert Horry doing nothing the entire game until the fourth quarter where he hits every shot. Finally, there was Shaq and Kobe. Kobe was the cocky young kid whose ballhog habits got the best of him, and Shaq was just a cocky a-hole, a guy who had never gotten a ring, and left his small market team to do it. Man, did we hate them.

Then something happened. The Blazers got worse, and the Lakers continued forward to success. Even as the team hit rock bottom, the hatred for the Lakers never left. Portland still came abuzz when the Lakers came to town, and their team, one of the worst in the league, still took the Lakers to their limits every game. However, this new iteration of the team wasn’t the one that we should have beaten at the beginning of the decade. Rick Fox, Robert Horry, and Shaq were all gone. The satisfaction just wasn’t there. Even more, since the start of the Brandon Roy era, Kobe Bryant has sounded like an unabashed fan of Portland, always throwing out compliments after games, whether the Lakers won or lost. No matter how much of an annoyance Lamar Odom is, the Lakers had finally done it: they made themselves tolerable to a Portland fan.

Luckily for all of us, Sasha Vujacic showed up. He’s a godsend to the Laker hater. He combines everything that was horrible about the early-millennium teams. He’s an amalgamation of evil. He has the flopping of Derek Fisher and Vlade Divac with the arrogance of Rick Fox with the backbreaking unexpected shooting of Brian Shaw, and it’s all tied up with a little bow on the top.

Vlade passes on flopping to a new generation.

That is the whole key to the persona. He wears a headband that would be too feminine for most fifth grade girls dressing up as Princess Jasmine from Aladdin on Halloween. It holds back his greasy and stringy hair from getting in his face when he flops. Its disgusting oiliness brings back that warm feeling of prejudice and dislike to even the most jaded Laker hater.

For this, Trail Post would like to salute the headband of Sasha Vujacic. It brought back the edge to the rivalry. Its evil gives us more reason to enjoy every beating the Blazers give the Lakers. That little thread has defined a team to be hated for a whole new generation.

More important than last night’s battle (or minor skirmish/decimation) against the Nuggets for the Northwest division lead was the fact that Dave and Ben from Blazers Edge organized a get-together for any readers of the site. As most who read this know, I have been an avid reader of the site for a couple of years, and it really is the best Blazers blog out there. Understandably, I was extremely excited to go, if not to see what a group of online Blazers fans look like (bearded), at least to see how they act during a game (raucous). The added bonus, I learned what a group of Blazers fans smell like when packed into a room with a low ceiling (ground beef, although that was probably the sliders).

Anyway, things were not too awkward, considering that people were meeting previously faceless personae for the first time ever. Everyone seemed very friendly, especially the man who identified himself as “Blazermaniac Andy;” he buzzed around the room with a collection of signed t-shirts, courting the autographs from his fellow posters as if we were the actual Blazers. Things were going great until about midway through the first quarter, and of course, that’s when the game fell apart.

By halftime, about a quarter of the people in the room had cleared out, and by the end of the third quarter, it was very easy to find a place to sit on the couch. Also, as the game went into the toilet, some tensions ran high. For example, during an excellent run in the third quarter, the Blazers managed to pull within two points, and forced the Nuggets to call a time out. Instead of riding the same players, Nate subbed in Channing Frye and Travis Outlaw for Batum and Przybilla. I joked, “We’ll be down ten in two minutes” as I always do when Trav comes in during a run for the Blazers. That was at the 5:23 mark. At the 4:26 mark, we were down ten. Of course I yelled, “Called it! God, Travis is horrible.” To which, some uppity guy told me to shut up because apparently I had not said a single nice thing about the team all night, and said that I wasn’t a real fan. That’s how I knew it really was Blazers Edge night. The atmosphere of the forum had been successfully captured. When someone speaks the truth about Travis Outlaw with empirical evidence, all the Travis lovers can do is post #25 and call anyone who thinks differently than them “not a real fan.” I got #25′d.

My idea of fandom, and part of the reason I started writing this blog, has always been to look at the team fairly, which means to cheer what’s right, and also to criticize what goes wrong. Professional sports are entertainment, pure and simple. This is why the idea of unconditional love for a team is so astonishing to me. When I go out to a movie, and it sucks, I’ll simply say that it was horrible. If a movie’s incredible, but a single actor or actress drags it down, I’ll go out of my way to point out that actor or actress. (For example, Pulp Fiction was brilliant, but I have yet to meet a person who thought Bruce Willis’ girlfriend was not irritating.) When you encounter a piece of entertainment, you’ll get more enjoyment out of it if you challenge it with a critical point of view, rather than mindlessly devouring it. I apply this approach to the Blazers, too. I love the overall whole of the team, but sometimes Travis is a bit too much like Bruce Willis’ girlfriend. Does that make me any more or less a fan than someone who has unadulterated love for the team? I think not. They’re different approaches that happen to arrive at the same destination

Back to having my fandom challenged. Is this guy who said it a real fan? In his mind, I bet he’s entirely sure, and I believe the same thing. He supports his team to the end. That is true fan. However, to challenge someone for not being a fan at get-together organized by a sports blog has to be one of the silliest notions I’ve ever heard of. Am I one? I’d like to think so. I write a fan blog; that seems to be part of the definition. I’ve followed the team for years, though the worst part of its history. All of this led me to this conclusion: we were all fans there last night, but some had much fairer definitions than others.

Tonight, Jarrett Jack and the Indiana Pacers come to Portland for what is expected to be an easy win for Portland.

Who else is incredibly excited that Jack is back? He’s coming off of the most productive week of his career, and he seems to be doing extremely well in Indiana. It seems perfect. Trail Post hasn’t missed him a lick, but we do wish him all the best.

Whether it was his winking in order to pick up the sister of certain bloggers, or that epic porn stache that has been copied the world over, Jack was a great personality to have around, especially in such a dour era. Yes, last year he was the Travis Outlaw of the team, the scapegoat for which every possible defect in the team was blamed on. However, he was able to move on successfully. That’s the story that we’re hoping will happen to Travis. Wears out his welcome in Portland, goes to a new team, becomes a hero, and both sides are happy.

Anyway, we’re just hoping that Jack gets the ovation he deserves when he comes out, because looking back, it’s a lot easier to think of the good things that Jarrett would do than the bad ones.

Postscript: To the Blazers drinking game people out there, yes, the rule of drinking when Rice says “Jack off the bench” is still in effect, as is the rule to drink whenever Jack steps on the out of bounds line for a costly turnover.

As some as you may know, Matt Bonner is one of this blog’s least liked players. It’s not because of any real reasons such as his style of play or the fact that he would be terrible under any coach not named Gregg Popovich, no. It’s because he has red hair. That’s the only reason why. We try hard not to feel this way, but honestly, the dude has red hair. Last week, when the Blazers lost to the Spurs, it was this ginger doing a lot of the damage. LaMarcus got schooled by the ginger kid. This seems like the kind of dishonor that would haunt him, haunt his ancestors, and even haunt any potential offspring he could have (although rumor has it being beaten by a ginger at basketball makes you barren).

Luckily, LaMarcus read his ginger lore and knew the only way to cleanse yourself of the ginger curse is to embarrass the ginger who cursed you within a week. Mission accomplished, LaMarcus. Mission accomplished. He had an astounding 26 points, 7 rebounds, 4 assists, and 3 steals all while playing against the returned Tim Duncan and said ginger.

Of course, the real story of the game is that the Blazers came out strong in the first half and simply embarrassed the Spurs. Great ball movement and hot shooting was the story of the game, and it was out of reach before the first half was even over. Then the team showed maturity by never letting the Spurs gain any sort of momentum or make a run until it was far too late. Honestly, the Blazers had a disappointing second half, as they only scored 38 points, but the lead never dipped below 20 in the second half until the waning moments of the game. That’s what we call a solid performance.