Mar 26 2009
In Memoriam: Da_Real_Canzano
Today’s a sad day in the life of anyone who follows the Portland sports scene and happens to be on Twitter and has stopped reading the sports section of the Oregonian and doesn’t listen to The Game between 3 PM and 6 PM. Da_Real_Canzano has been shut down. John Canzano boasted, “The BFT impersonator has been formally removed by Twitter for copyright infringement.” I guess the long national nightmare is over.
For those of you who don’t know, Da_Real_Canzano was a twitterer (tweeter?) who would imitate John Canzano and make fun of his hack-like persona in a variety of increasingly hilarious ways. I’ve never known that a person could come up with so many jokes about chewing on pencils and still have them be fresh (the jokes, not the pencils). All of us in that tiny group described above now know the greatest tasting of them all is Dixon Ticonderoga. It’s sad that we never got to learn the identity of this genius.
Through all of it Canzano lashed out against DRC on his radio show, oblivious to the fact that the guy was great publicity for the column and the show. He called out the fake Canzano, making homophobic insinuations about DRC. Still, Canzano was beaten and beaten badly, so he resorted to his last defense - he tattled to Twitter. Soon enough, DRC was knocked off for copyright infringement. Who knew that writing like a hack was infringement? (Does that mean I owe Canzano royalties?)
It turned out the last post that DRC ever made was in response to Canzano bragging about running into Brandon Roy at the DMV. DRC responded with something to the effect of, “Yeah, I met Brandon Roy at the DMV…after tailing him for 20 hours. That’s what a columnist does BFT.” It’s fitting that DRC got the last laugh against this uptight and humorless target. You will be missed.
I’ll chew a pencil for a homie.
